


Promises

by Jotachinos



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alive!Jean, Angst, Gen, Himmel (Heaven/sky in German), Just Emotions and Stuff, No Smut, angel!Marco, lots of clouds, that one fic with an oak tree and a gravetsone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-21
Updated: 2014-04-21
Packaged: 2018-01-20 06:05:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1499429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jotachinos/pseuds/Jotachinos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every week, I said I'd meet you, right? I'm sorry it was under these circumstances, though. But, a promise is a promise, and this is one I'll never break.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Promises

"Oh, Jean, you're finally here!" Marco looked up and watched Jean sprint over to him. A huge grin grew on both their faces as they spotted one another.

"Ha ha, yeah. Sorry I took so long: Eren wouldn't leave me alone." he huffed, catching his breath and slowing down.

"It's been over a year since the Titans were eliminated and you're still at each other's throats? That's so like you two. Was it about Mikasa?"

"You're as sharp as ever, Marco. Well, I guess some things never change, huh?"

Jean sat next to Marco at their usual spot: underneath a huge oak tree that faced away from the now deserted barracks where they once trained together. Jean always looked forward to coming here, sitting beside Marco and watching the birds fly past, watching the trees and grass sway gently in the breeze. He had never felt so relaxed. Even though the Titans were no longer around, he would only feel complete relaxation and happiness when he was beside Marco. They saw each other much more now than they did when they were still trainees; having more time on their hands now, they spent nearly all of it together.

Marco looked over and watched Jean's expression change every so often. He wondered what he was thinking about.

"...Hm?" Jean looked over, making Marco turn away and scratch his head, "Oh, n-nothing. It's just, you look so happy. Much happier than you were all those years ago."

"Well, that's because I'm with you. I feel at peace when I'm with you. If I'm not with you, then I'm always thinking about when I'll see you next." Jean turned his head to face the sky and grinned, "I just miss this."

Marco sighed happily in response, "I miss it, too. But now that they are no longer a problem, you won't have to wait as long as you used to, right?"

"Yeah..." he said quietly, almost sounding like he was trying to hide the fact that he hated being away from Marco. Just hearing Jean say those kinds of things were both painful and soothing. The pain was caused by knowing that he abandoned Jean when he needed him the most, but it soothed the pain because he knew that Jean didn't hold it against him - the inevitable happens, even if we don't want it to.

They stared at the sky together, side by side, thinking just like they always wanted to. They couldn't do this before because of the Titans, but now that they're no longer here, they could do this as long as they pleased.

Jean shuffled closer to Marco, leaning on his shoulder and rubbing his eyes, "Jeez, my eyes hurt like a bitch." he said. Although Marco's shoulder was a little uncomfortable lately, he still didn't miss the opportunity to get as close as he could, not knowing if it'd be the last time.

"Are you holding it back again? You know you can cry in front of me," Marco crossed his hands on his lap and fiddled with his fingers, "I don't mind."

"I know, but, I'm doing this too much." he hushed his voice, "I just don't want you to feel as if it's your fault, y'know?"

Marco laughed softly and smiled at Jean, saying "it's okay, really" with his eyes. Jean cursed him before rubbing his damp eyes. Whenever he attempted to speak, the only noise that would come out would be little hiccups or loud sniffs.

"You big baby," Marco joked, ruffling Jean's hair affectionately.

"Marco, just, don't do that..."

"Why? I thought you liked it?"

"It's not that I don't like it," Marco ruffled his hair as Jean spoke, "it just reminds me of something."

"Hm?"

Jean knew the answer would only make him cry more, but he couldn't stop himself from speaking, "T-that, you know, it's not actually you."

"Jean..." Marco pulled his hand away, "Sorry, I keep forgetting there's a reason why you don't like it 100%" He put his arm around Jean's shoulder, pulling him closer and allowing his jacket to absorb his mourning friend's tears.

Something rubbed against his arm, and he moved away a little, "What did you...?"

"I-I'm sorry, Marco. I kinda..."

"Wiped your nose on my sleeve... It's fine, I don't mind."

"Here," Jean took off his jacket and put it on his lap, "you can take this with you when you go."

"Thank you, Jean, but you keep it. You need it more than me."

That hurt Jean, it really did. Although he didn't allow his emotions to be shared openly, Marco knew. He gulped and punched the ground guiltily, "Oh, Jean, I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean-"

"N... no, it's... It's okay."

"I'll take it with me. I'm sorry." he cleared his throat to stop himself from tearing up.

Jean looked into Marco's eyes - they still seemed so full of false life - and stood up. Marco joined him. This was the part they hated the most because it was the hardest.

"Marco?"

"Next week, same place." He started to walk away, gradually fading away as the wind blew his body into the air like dust.

Jean took a few steps forward and yelled, "Promise?"

Marco turned back and smiled sweetly. He smiled so brightly it pushed his freckles close to his ears, "Promise." The tears that he attempted to cry just blew away with the rest of him.

Jean went to run after his vaporising friend, but before he could cling on to him, making sure to keep Marco in place, he had already gone.

Once again, his best friend had disappeared before his very eyes.

He collapsed onto his knees, balled fists rested on top of them as the tears fell onto his once again wet face, soaking into the earth beneath him.

He picked up the jacket he had taken off earlier and turned around, looking at the gravestone in front of the tree, "Hey Marco," he smiled sadly, folding his jacket so that the Survey Corps logo was facing upwards, "you forgot this."

Jean carefully placed the jacket on the mound of dirt in front of the stone, "If it's like this, you'll see it from Himmel. I joined the Survey Corps for you, so, maybe seeing this will make you proud of me? I survived because of you. I'm sorry we couldn't join the Military Police together like you wanted, but I know that the king would be honoured to have had you by his side, just like I was."

He sat in front of the stone and read it:

_Here lies Marco Bodt. In loving memory of a lost friend, he lies beneath the tree which he loved with every part of him, for here he would spend every moment with those who he held close. From King and Country, we love and miss you, Soldier._

A burning lump grew in Jean's throat as he looked at the dirt, knowing that's where Marco was - his ashes were buried next to the tree he loved to sit by. It made him happier to know that it was him who buried his best friend, but at the same time it was heartbreakingly painful.

He didn't want to believe it was true, but he knew that what had just happened was a dream (he always slept next to Marco's grave, letting him know that he'd never leave his side), that seeing Marco's ghost was a dream. That he actually leant on his gravestone, not his shoulder, that the ruffling of his hair was just the wind. The arm over his shoulder was nothing but the shirt on his back.

Still on his knees, Jean leant over the grave and kissed the wings on his folded jacket. He then stood up and saluted, one hand behind his back. He kissed the hand that held Marco's ashes and held it over his beating heart.

"I'll see you next week, buddy. Like we promised."

He bowed, wiping his stinging eyes, "I'll always keep that promise."

_I know you will. See you soon, Jean._

 

* * *

 

 It was that time again - that one time during the week when they were able to return to Earth. Many of the fallen heroes had gathered by the edge of the cloud, staring down into the sky beneath them all.

Everyone who had been lost waited for this day every second that they existed in the afterlife, waiting to return home, waiting to see their families, waiting to watch them burst into tears and crying their names, letting them know that, yes, they were gone, but never forgotten. What they hated was not being able to hold their loved ones in their arms as humans.

Unfortunately, those whose friends and families had given up believing in the ghosts were never visited. The beliefs of others gave the fallen the power to return and visit those who cared.

Many soldiers were stuck on this cloud, floating around for eternity, never to see their loved ones again. They thought the afterlife was supposed to bring everlasting euphoria, but this was torture. They could only stare as they watched others fall back down with extraordinary grins plastered on their faces.

Petra and Gunther made their way over to the edge of the cloud, smiles resting softly on their young faces, "Do you think he's looking forward to seeing me?" Petra asked, looked at her boots with a shy smile. Gunther was facing down, looking at Petra out of the corner if his eye with a grin, "Of course, Petra. You know that your father loves you dearly."

"Yeah, I know. That's probably why, when he was talking to Corporal Levi, he was still smiling. When he sees me like this, he still smiles like nothing's changed. When I start to return, he always says: "Good luck with your mission, Petra." and waves." The smile was still on her face, but it quivered when she thought of her father.

When they arrived at the edge, they saw that someone was already there.

The broad shoulders and black hair were instantly recognisable.

"Marco!" Petra yelled, waving her hand.

Marco turned around, his bangs gently swayed in the light breeze and he was smiling brilliantly as he stood up, "Hey guys. It's nearly time, huh?"

"It sure is. So, who are you seeing this time?" Gunther asked, walking to the edge and staring over, "Oh, you know, the usual." Marco replied.

"Really? Wow, you weren't lying when you said you missed him." Petra giggled.

"Well, I have a promise to keep." he said, trying to look at the ground, "Not like I'm going to break it, though."

"When you said he meant everything to you, you really were serious. Do you think he ever noticed?"

Gunther shushed Petra. She didn't realise what she was saying was hurting Marco. Yes, what Marco felt was completely true, and the fact that he never told Jean was what hurt him. Jean never heard what Marco so desperately wanted to say, and he never would, not now. Hearing Marco say something like that would probably destroy Jean, knowing that he isn't a strong person.

He just had to wait. He had to wait for Jean to join him so that they could actually be side by side, and only then would he confess everything, but for now, he would wait.

It was something he was used to doing.

During life, he had waited. During death, he would wait.

Petra, Gunther and Marco stood at the edge together, staring over and trying to see the ground through the sky.

"Petra, where's Auruo? And where's Erd?"

"He... can't go." someone called out before Petra could even open her mouth. A couple walking hand in hand approached the trio, the ginger girl smiled and her tanned partner smiled back, although what they said wasn't exactly happy.

"Hello Hannah, Franz. I see you're still together?"

"W-we're not a couple!" Hannah said, smiling and looking at the clouded floor.

"O-of course n-not! Our hands just cold!" Franz smiled as well and started to gently swing their hands. "Uh... Okay, so, maybe we like each other a little..."

Petra looked at them with a dejected smile, envious of how happy they were together. Why couldn't she and Auruo be like this?

"Petra? What's wrong?" Gunther and Marco asked, both bending on one knee and looking at her with worried expressions, "Yeah, you've never looked like this since you got here." Hannah added. When Petra didn't answer, Hannah and Franz shot concerned looks at each other, then at Marco and Gunther.

Marco excused himself and started to walk in the direction of the little town that was built in the clouds - finding Auruo was his task.

He was a little jealous, well, a lot jealous, of everyone, they all had someone by their side to support and love them through their never ending afterlife, and who did he have? Sure he still had friends, but friends couldn't give him the love he craved. They couldn't walk around Himmel together with their hands tightly intertwined, he couldn't pick up his friends and twirl them around with a pure smile on his freckled face, he couldn't kiss his friends, he couldn't lie in bed next to his friends, still holding their hands, snuggling them and sighing happily, whispering sweet things into their ears.

Thomas had Mina, Auruo had Petra, Franz had Hannah, Gunther had Erd, even. But Marco, he was alone.

Marco walked through the streets, looking at the white cobblestone under his boots. The houses were the same as they were back in Trost, the only thing different was that they too were white.

He stood in front of a door and knocked, waiting for a response.

"Hello?" Marco called, knocking again, "You here, Auruo?"

"I'm not going. Go away, annoying brat."

"But, Pet-"

"Leave me be!"

Marco decided to irritate him no further, so he made his way back to the edge. He shook his head and sighed, feeling sorry for Petra: having to put up with a fiancé like him must be difficult, but Auruo's family had stopped believing in his ghost, so he was made bitter by the hate he felt towards those who denied him the chance to return to Earth.

When he got back to the edge, he saw Hannah, Franz, Petra, Gunther and Erd were all standing side by side, walking closer and closer to the edge along with the other group of fallen heroes.

It was time to return.

Marco stood between the two groups, "Guys, we died together, so we will return together." he said, closing his hands into fists. Everyone copied his actions, raising their fists over their non-beating hearts and behind their backs, saluting.

Their hands joined together, connecting the two groups to form a single line: the line of the returning. With smiles on their faces, they stood at the very edge of the cloud, the tips of their boots hanging over. They shut their eyes and squeezed their clutching hands before bringing their feet over the edge.

Marco's body weight shifted entirely, helping him fall over their cloud and making him glide down. The Wings of Freedom formed out of their Survey Corps jackets, allowing them to gently fly down, still hand in hand with his fellow soldiers.

Marco's eyes stayed shut as he took a deep breath through his nose, smiling as he breathed out.

People began to let go of each other, all flying away in different directions, and all wishing each other luck. Marco looked over to Petra and smiled, "Bye, Petra. I'll see you soon."

"Goodbye, Marco."

Letting go of her hand, he turned to the left. Both blue and white wings tilted to shift his weight. He reached one hand forward and grabbed a passing cloud, it turned into water on his hand, making him laugh, "It's nice to feel something else for a change..." he whispered to himself, reaching out to grab more clouds as he flew through them, getting a tiny bit damp each time.

He brushed the damp bangs sticking to his forehead away.

Marco shut his eyes and focused on his hearing, listening to the sound of the wind brushing past his ears, taking it all in and memorising the feeling of falling freely like a bird, "It's nice to hear something else, too."

Opening his eyes, he saw that he was slowly approaching a tree top. He looked behind him to see that his wings had started to vaporise, but he was close enough to land on the top of the tree, so he turned around, feet and hands facing down to brace himself for the bumpy landing.

He lightly tumbled through the leaves, but the leaves didn't rustle, the branches didn't creak, but he still felt it. He could feel what wasn't actually there or happening.

"I guess I'd make a crap bird..." he joked, standing on a branch and brushing down his uniform and hair.

Marco was a little confused why he had gained a Survey Corps uniform when he arrived in the afterlife, but he didn't mind the upgrade. Honestly, wearing the same uniform as Jean made him feel closer to him, so he never complained - the only thing he enjoyed about this new life was the feeling of still being close to Jean, even though they weren't next to each other.

Not yet, anyway.

He climbed down the tree and took a few steps back at the bottom, and then he smiled. "At least I landed in the right tree this time."

Once more, Marco fixed his hair and uniform, tucking in his shirt and wriggling his feet in his boots. He's got to look presentable, right?

Finally feeling ready, Marco sat down and began to wait. The same old, same old: waiting. He didn't mind, as long as it was Jean who he was waiting for. He could wait for him. He always has been. He will continue to.

A few moments passed until he heard someone call out in an over enthusiastic manner, "Marco!"

"Oh, Jean, you're finally here!" he looked up and watched Jean sprint over to him. A huge grin grew on both their faces as they spotted one another. Seeing Jean look so happy to see him made his stomach fuzz, but he didn't stand, knowing that he'd probably tackle Jean to the ground if he did.

_You're here, just like you promised._

**Author's Note:**

> I guess my first attempt was... okay.


End file.
